The questions and answers that follow apply to people of all levels or backgrounds in Judaism who are interested in sharing their heritage with someone less knowledgeable or connected. Whether you have been observant all your life, or whether you are at another point in your Jewish Journey, we all want to be more effective and sensitive about sharing our Judaism with others. Here are some great tips, ideas and suggestions culled from questions that we have been asked by people just like you.

There are a few people in my life whom I would like to connect more to Judaism. How do I go about this? What is the first step? I would appreciate some help and guidance. Thank you so much!

I hesitate to suggest a “first step” because that would imply that there is a “one size fits all” approach to sharing the beauty of our heritage with a fellow Jew. There are really no rights or wrongs when it comes to sharing our Yiddishkeit; so much of it has to do with who you both are and what your relationship is like.

However, one thing is clear, the better your relationship is with another person the easier it is to share anything with them, whether about Judaism or anything else. A real relationship, based on care and mutual respect, and sharing your lives with one another is really the only “first step”. Getting together for coffee or lunch and just talking about your lives, your achievements and challenges, creates opportunities for sincere dialogue that will include things that are important to you such as Yiddishkeit.

At the right time, questions are always a great way of opening up a discussion on Jewish issues. For example, have you ever thought of doing any adult Jewish learning? Why do you think there is such a double standard when it comes to Israel? Have you ever thought of keeping kosher at home, or sending your kids to a Jewish day school or camp? How would you feel about your child intermarrying? Questions imply mutual respect and encourage dialogue, as opposed to well-meaning suggestions that could be taken the wrong way.

Depending upon your relationship, your personalities, and your likes and dislikes, there are various ways to share your Judaism with others. The rule is that there is no rule and whatever you do should develop organically through your relationship. However, a combination of any of the following in any order is appropriate:

Shabbat and Yom Tov. Inviting Jews for Shabbat is a great way to engage or deepen relationships and really to show one of the pivotal Joys of Judaism.

Sharing family simchas/celebrations. There is nothing like the depth and meaning of our simchas and it is a great way to introduce people to the joys of our heritage.

Share Torah. Jewish wisdom is the key to our personal growth in life, and sharing that wisdom with others will enable growth, helping to become better spouses, parents and just better people. You can enter into a chavrusa relationship where you learn once a week, or you might begin by sharing Jewish wisdom before the various holidays; this is often a time when people are very grateful to have some deeper more meaningful ideas than what they learned in Hebrew school. (Don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers, you are not the “Rabbi or Rebbetzin” and can discover the answers together)

Be a Shadchan/matchmaker. You can also keep your eyes and ears open for programs and experiences that might appeal to your friend, such as a trip to Israel, a Jewish young professional’s program, an NCSY program for teens, or even suggest that they can learn about any topic they might want through the Project Inspire One on One learning program.

Pray. Ask G-d to help connect our brothers and sisters to His beautiful Torah, in the right way and at the right time.

We regularly host Birthright participants and other such trips for shabbat lunch. We are trying to figure out the best way to talk to them and open them up to asking questions and seeing Judaism as something more. If you have suggestions for topics of conversations or questions to ask them, we would really appreciate it.

You probably don’t realize how much of an impact your Shabbat meal has on your birthright participants. We take for granted the beautiful table, and ambience and spirituality of Shabbat; Not to mention the challahs and great food, songs and the warm family relationships and joy which permeate the Shabbat. The more your Shabbat table reflects warmth, joy, fun and spirituality, the better experience it will be for everyone at your table, including your kids, your birthright participants, and you! The most important thing is not to force it, you’re probably already doing a great job.

However, that being said, stimulating conversation and curiosity is best achieved by being interested in your guests and asking them questions about their lives and about Judaism. Some hosts have the practice of going around the table throughout the meal and asking people to share a little about themselves and about a Jewish moment or memory that was meaningful to them growing up, or what about your trip to Israel has impacted you the most etc. Also, if you are going to share a Torah thought during the meal, it might also be good to bring it out through questions engaging your guests rather than as a monologue.

It’s best not to tackle really controversial issues at the table, because it isn’t really the appropriate forum in which to handle them. It’s better to validate the question and refer them back to their Rabbi for a proper answer.

My colleague tells me that he believes in G-d and the Torah and thinks it is all truth. However, he says he is not interested in getting more connected to religion because a religious lifestyle means no fun. What do you answer such a person?

First off, I would tell him that he might be surprised to learn that Judaism teaches that G-d created this world for us to have pleasure – the greatest kinds of pleasure. In truth, the Torah is a user’s manual for how a soul can get pleasure in a physical world. It goes way beyond the “fun” that he’s familiar with.

An analogy that that may resonate with him is the difference between candy and a filet mignon. A child will grab the candy, while an adult whose palate is more sophisticated will opt for the steak. So too with the finest wines; it takes time and somewhat of an investment to acquire a taste for the sophisticated pleasures in life. But once you do, you’ll never go back to the sugary bug juice you drank in camp as a child.

And lastly, if your friend actually believes in G-d and that He created us, pose to him the following question: Does it make sense that G-d would create us, custom design us to seek pleasures of all kind, and then hold us back from enjoying them? That’s cruel. Would your parents do that if they had unlimited resources and could give you anything in the world to enjoy? Isn’t it far more likely that G-d created us for pleasure and Judaism encompasses the greatest, most sophisticated, and eternally satisfying pleasures that one can possibly experience? But you can’t experience that pleasure standing on the outside, any more than someone can learn to enjoy the true pleasure of wine without the equivalent of a wine tasting course.

I have cousins who have negative views of religious Jews. It is a shame because while I myself am not religious, I respect the practices of all Jews to do as they believe. Any suggestions on how to respond when this topic comes up at a family gathering?

While everyone seems to have their story of the religious Jew who allegedly cheated in business or didn’t welcome them when they wandered into their synagogue, people like your cousin paint all religious Jews with a broad brush, much the same way anti-Semites lump us all together whenever they are provided with an excuse to do so. The truth is that in all groups there are good people and not so good people, and just as you don’t want people mischaracterizing you on the basis of the acts of others, you shouldn’t do it either.

Besides, if you actually look at elements which define people and communities as good and healthy contributors to society, religious Jewish communities are high on the list. Their involvement in charity, giving to others in a plethora of ways, supporting a strong wholesome family life, and actively pursuing ethical and personal growth is way beyond anything comparable in the secular Jewish world.

Last and maybe the most important answer to your cousin would be to ask him the following question: You have such a negative view of religious Jews. Do you really know any? Have you ever spent any significant time with them, been over their homes for Shabbat or maybe shared a family wedding or bar mitzvah with them? You can be sure the answer will be a sheepish no. Then the shallow, uninformed and cynical nature of his view will become obvious to everyone – even to him!

Our neighbors are Jewish, do you have any suggestions on how we can connect to them and help them connect to their Judaism?: Invite them to your home for Shabbat and holiday meals and include them in your family simchas/Jewish celebrations etc. As your relationship develops you can become their go-to source for all things Jewish.

A Jewish holiday is coming up, how can I let my friend know about it?

If it’s a holiday that he is likely to celebrate, you can ask him what he is doing for the holiday to stimulate a discussion. You might want to make suggestions, invite him to your home, or learn with him a bit about it to make it more meaningful.

If it’s a holiday not on his radar screen, you can mention how excited you are to celebrate the upcoming holiday and share a bit of what you are doing, or why it is meaningful to you, and/or offer an invite as appropriate.

I recently met a business acquaintance who is completely unaffiliated but he occasionally expresses interest in things related to Judaism. I'm looking for guidance on what I can share with him to help him further explore his Jewish Heritage.

You should validate his interest by saying how great it is that in this busy world of ours, he is curious about his Judaism. When he shows interest, answer his questions with a mini learning session. If it can’t be done on one foot, make a time over coffee or lunch to discuss the issue. Usually someone like this might also enjoy a pre-holiday learning session before the next Jewish holiday. If you see he really likes learning, you can suggest a weekly study session. After all, why do you have to wait till the next holiday?!

Of course, personal invitations for Shabbat meals and other family experiences such as Chanuka etc. are also great ways to help him learn more about Yiddishkeit.

I feel very passionately about my Judaism and would like to share it with others. The problem is that I feel like I don't know enough. How can I reach out when I am just a regular person with no extensive Jewish knowledge? What will I do if someone asks me a Jewish question that I do not know how to answer?

Sharing with others is mostly about caring, developing a real sincere relationship and just being yourself. It’s not about answers to any question he/she may ask you. Not knowing all the answers is fine. It’s an opportunity to both be on a level playing field and offers a context for pursuing the answers together. The best answer to a question you don’t know is, I don’t know. If it’s one you never asked (even though you should have) because you grew up with it, share that with your friend. That will bring you closer together and propel you both forward to discovering the answer together.

With that being said, probably the best way to get some great basic answers to questions of all types is to spend some time daily or weekly on some great Jewish websites dealing with these issues like Aish.com or simpletoremember.com. Just read an article each time. Besides becoming more equipped to answer questions, you will really enjoy it yourself!

I work in a center for special needs children which hires many Jews of all religious backgrounds. Some of the women show much interest in connecting to their Judaism more but I am having a hard time knowing what to do besides being nice and setting a good example? On Purim I gave the teachers I work with a small Mishloach Manos package - it was so special to see how touched they were, one almost to tears! But now what? Thanks for your help.

Please refer to the answer to the first question on this page since many of the ideas apply here as well. Below are some additional thoughts regarding this specific question.

First, being a really good ethical, helpful, honest and refined person at work and throughout your life is the most important step in having a positive influence on others, no matter how religious or non-religious they are.

Also, as a result of your sincere and caring relationships developed at work you have an opportunity to share what to you value in your life with others.

Giving Shaloch Manos, home baked Challah to your friends, and other holiday treats as the year progresses is very appreciated by co-workers.

Some are very eager to learn about the holidays on an “adult level” to make their own experiences more meaningful.

Inviting co-workers for Shabbat meals, Chanukah parties, family simchas/celebrations etc. are all beautiful steps to sharing the joy of your Judaism with others.

Some might enjoy learning with you or someone else about Judaism on a weekly basis.

Look to connect them or family members to Jewish experiences/programs that they would enjoy, like a trip to Israel.